Friday, July 31, 2009

Still Joyfully Pregnant and Contentedly Waiting

"Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praise worthy--think on these things." Philippians 4:8

I feel so good. Crazy, huh? 2 wks ago I was miserable. Every part of my body ached, my cervix felt abused, my feet began to swell to look like piggy feet and ancles and I think DH was going to commit me if I didn't stop complaining and whinning. I woke up every morning crying because I was still pregnant. I was just sooo focused on getting this baby out! I wasn't truly listening to my body. I was listening to my emotional desires, my aches and pains. Not fun to ignore. I don't think I should have ignored them, but just accept them. Embrace them as apart of growing this beautiful baby inside me.
After trying the castor oil and baby didn't come, I woke up the next morning renewed. I placed a smile apon my face and decided to finish this pregnancy with a joyful attitude and not an attitude of negativity. I truly believe that attitude affects our view on things. I've always believed 90% attitude, 10%life). My body feels so much better. I'm not feeling the constant aches and brittleness of my hips any longer. The edema in my feet has completely disappeared and I just feel happy and content when it comes to being pregnant right now. I still dream almost every night about this birth and finally meeting baby, but it's a welcoming dream and not a pleading dream for baby to come out!
Sometimes it's easy to loose focus of our beliefs, no matter how passionate we are about them. When things get tough , human nature tends to take over and we become negative and discontented. I've done a lot of talking to God lately and reading scripture. I was able to re-focus on truth and that feels good.
It's been raining so much here. I love it. Seems to coincide with my re-newed outlook...being washed, clean, and can see clearly. I hope it rains when I do go into labor. I'd love to hear the rain while bringing baby into this world.

"Therefore do not worry about tommorrw, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:34

"My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long." Psalms 71:8

"Do not be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Castor Oil Milkshake

I'm officially 41 wks and 6days past my due date (officially 13days past). I've been contemplating trying blue cohosh like we did with Layla. I was 14 days past due with her and tried the tincture that night and she arrived the next morning at 9lbs. 8oz and tons of yellow vernix.
I feel undecided on natural induction (other than sex, walking, etc..) I want this baby to come when he (or she) is ready; however, my body aches and there is the weight of a bowling ball head sitting on my cervix. I'd like to encourage baby to come on out. I can't wait to hold him, nurse him, smell him.
Last night, I ran into my midwife that we used with our first two homebirths. She was a wonderful midwife and gave us amazing birth experiences. Infact, she is one of the first people that encouraged me to go unassisted once I had made that decision. So, last night we ran into her at the grocery store and she encouraged me to try the castor oil milkshake or a mixture of OJ, castor oil, and vodka to get baby to come. For what ever reason, her peppy encouragement made me feel OK with trying it. We bought some chocolate ice cream and some castor oil.
This morning Billy made me a "labor shake"with 2oz. (that's 1/4 cup-yuck!) of castor oil and 2 cups of ice cream. He started with one cup, but the CO taste was way to strong for me, so he added more ice cream. ....still tasted pretty bad.
Unwillingly, at 9:30 a.m., I chugged it down while holding my nose and chasing it with juice. It didn't really have a smell, but the taste was like melted chapstick..not pleasant.
Around 10 am. I felt incredible sleepy and laid down for a rest. I slept like a baby accept with the occasional kiddo running in to tell me something or lay with me. Gideon came in at one point and had a hour glass timer from a game and said, "Ok mommy, when the sand all goes to the bottom the time is up and the baby will come out." Ohhh if it was just that quick. lol
I got up around 11am and had my first wonderful visit to the toilet. Other than not feeling hungry at all, I feel fine.
Supposedly in order to jumpstart labor I'm suppose to take another 2oz of castor oil 4hrs after the first dose. I'm thinking I'll need to try a different method bc the ice cream took a bit too long for me to chug. Maybe I'll try my x-midwife's idea, just without the vodka. ((smile))

On MDC, I read another mamas experience with castor oil. She had taken the CO milkshake with 6 out of 9 of her pregnancies and went into labor every time. Hoping I'll be that lucky.

I'll update as the day goes on...maybe we'll have a baby tonight.

Going out in a bit to pick up some washable ink, so we can do the baby's footprints and placenta print when baby does arrive.

UPDATE: 2:22pm
I've visited the potty four times with loose bowels since 10-ish. Fun! Nothing too horrible (like on Dumb and Dummer).
We went to K-mart to buy some baby wipes and ink and I had a super strong contrax while walking around.
I just took my 2nd (and last dose) of CO at 2pm. This time I mixed it with a cup of grapefruit juice and 2oz (1/4c) of CO. All I can say is d~i~s~g~u~s~t~i~n~g. It did not disolve at all and created this nasty waxy juice layer at the top that was like chugging sludge. I made it through. It was definitly faster chugging the juice than the shake, but way more disgusting. Anyhoo, now we wait to see if labor will come. We should see some progress in 2-6hrs....hopefully!

UPDATE: 7:54pm
Having regular contrax for the past hour. They've continued to get stronger and continue through standing, laying, sitting, etc... Layla and I took a bath to see if they'd peter out, but nope. They've continued through the bath and now I'm breathing heavily through them. No bloody show yet, but I didn't get that with last dd until almost transition. Curious if this is all due to the castor oil and soon as it has completly passes through my system then these "contrax" will cease. Hope not. I'll update later (unless I'm pushing a baby out)

Contrax lasted till around 3am and finally petered out to cervical pinches. I woke this morning still pregnant and with a renewed feeling of waiting. I believe my body/baby must not be ready. I sincerly believe if it was, then the castor oil would have worked. The contrax it brought on were strong and I had 100% belief that they were going to end up in full on labor. So, since baby is saying..No not yet....we will wait and wait patiently.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Going past my due date

I'm 40w and 3d and I woke up this morning throwing up............ which led to crying.................. which led to staring in the mirror and wondering if I am the first pregnant woman in the world that will NEVER go into labor and I will be pregnant f~o~r~e~v~e~r. lol. I know that's not true, but every morning I wake up thinking it.

DH suggested we go hiking this morning and try ang encourage baby to come. It's a beautiful day and against my lazy will he got me dressed and out of the house.

The hike was fantastic nature trail not far from the house. We saw 6 deer while walking up and down the trail. The kids loved it and I have to say I enjoyed it too. At one point I wanted to quit, but Billy said I was gonna keep walking until I had this baby. He's a riot. I pretty much lagged behind the entire time trying to walk my pregnant whale of a tail up the inclines and not trip or slide when coming back down, but it was perfect.

We just got back a couple hours ago. Billy prepared lunch. I took a relaxing bath, and then fell asleep for a 2 hour nap dreaming of birthing! What a day!
So far, all the walk has induced is inner thigh sorness. lol. No contraxtions or labor, but I do feel rejuvinated and happy.
DH says he's going to make me a blue cohosh sandwich tonight to make sure I go into labor. haha. We used blue cohosh to send me into labor with last dd after we were 14d past my EDD. I'm trying to wait and hold off on any herbal remedies. I'd like to let my body go on its own.
Here's hoping to waking up to a newborn baby!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Yup, Still Pregnant.

Well, it's 2 days until my EDD and baby is still baking. I wake up every morning and think to myself, "Yup, still pregnant."---Like somehow without me knowing, in the middle of the night, I had the baby. lol.
I woke on the 7th of July feeling really crampy and tons of pressure on my cervix. I decided to install baby's carseat that morning (been procrastinating that one) and then Billy and I took a nice a long walk around the block. When I came in from our walk, I went potty and squealed for joy! There was a nice size chunk of mucus when I wiped. I figured this was my plug and soon I'd be in labor.
Everytime I had gone potty over the last few weeks I've been checking for my plug...hoping...praying..., but nothing. I swear, when I finally saw this it was if I had won the lottery. I was so excited! My husband just thought I was crazy to be so excited over something other than a baby coming out down there, but when your a pregnasaurus any sign of potential oncoming labor is so exciting! All day long I had contractions, but nothing regular or strong enough to be actual labor. I have to say that day hit me pretty hard. After a few hours of nothing, the crying began. I was just soooo ready to have this baby. I felt so desperate. I know that in the state of mind I was in, if I had an OB and had gone in for an appt, I would have been begging for an induction (even though I don't agree with deciding on when baby should come based on my on convience.) Cesarean sounded fantastic and Billy jokingly taunted me all day that he's give me a home-cesarean. lol. He's always trying to make me laugh. Again, I was not in my normal state of mind and I was not thinking straight. I decided to take a warm bath, talk to baby and just take a nap. The next morning I had such a better grip on things, but still pregnant.

Since that day (today's the 13th), I've come back to my brain and I remind myself daily, if not hourly, that this baby and my body know when the perfect timing of his birth will be. Thank goodness that it's not my emotional state that decides when baby will be born. If that were the case, baby would have been born a while back and so many things would not be completed in him.
Every moment that he's growing inside me my body is giving him something that he needs and that he would not get being on the outside. Maybe it's a synapses being made or the last enzymes to help his liver function correctly. I don't know, but I have to trust that my body is designed to bring my husband's sperm and my egg togetehr and grow a tiny bundle of cells into a fully grown (10 lb) baby. When baby finally does produces the hormones that tells my body "I'm done," then my body will do what it was designed to do. P~U~S~H. I need not worry or rush or become impatient. I need to trust and be glad that all is working the way it is suppose to.

In the evenings. Layla and I take a bath together and talk to baby. We tell him we want to meet him and about his brothers he will meet. I tell him I can't wait to nurse him and hold him. Layla loves to soap up my belly and rinse it off. She says, "I'm washing baby Lincoln." He moves and squirms as she's doing this repetitive motion. I know he feels loved.

A few days ago, we were bathing and I had a pretty strong contraction. I sorta moaned and Layla said as she looked down, "You pushing the baby out?" It was so cute. I love that she's looking forward to this birth and that she isn't scared. She knows how it all happens and pushing a baby out is just normal to her. Billy and I don't plan to wake any of the kids up when I go into labor, but if they wake up and choose to be there they will be welcomed. Part of me hopes that Layla will wake up and not miss it.

I found an article the other day about how the baby's brain function's in the role to decide when labor should begin. Be back topost that article soon.