Well, it's 2 days until my EDD and baby is still baking. I wake up every morning and think to myself, "Yup, still pregnant."---Like somehow without me knowing, in the middle of the night, I had the baby. lol.
I woke on the 7th of July feeling really crampy and tons of pressure on my cervix. I decided to install baby's carseat that morning (been procrastinating that one) and then Billy and I took a nice a long walk around the block. When I came in from our walk, I went potty and squealed for joy! There was a nice size chunk of mucus when I wiped. I figured this was my plug and soon I'd be in labor.
Everytime I had gone potty over the last few weeks I've been checking for my plug...hoping...praying..., but nothing. I swear, when I finally saw this it was if I had won the lottery. I was so excited! My husband just thought I was crazy to be so excited over something other than a baby coming out down there, but when your a pregnasaurus any sign of potential oncoming labor is so exciting! All day long I had contractions, but nothing regular or strong enough to be actual labor. I have to say that day hit me pretty hard. After a few hours of nothing, the crying began. I was just soooo ready to have this baby. I felt so desperate. I know that in the state of mind I was in, if I had an OB and had gone in for an appt, I would have been begging for an induction (even though I don't agree with deciding on when baby should come based on my on convience.) Cesarean sounded fantastic and Billy jokingly taunted me all day that he's give me a home-cesarean. lol. He's always trying to make me laugh. Again, I was not in my normal state of mind and I was not thinking straight. I decided to take a warm bath, talk to baby and just take a nap. The next morning I had such a better grip on things, but still pregnant.
Since that day (today's the 13th), I've come back to my brain and I remind myself daily, if not hourly, that this baby and my body know when the perfect timing of his birth will be. Thank goodness that it's not my emotional state that decides when baby will be born. If that were the case, baby would have been born a while back and so many things would not be completed in him.
Every moment that he's growing inside me my body is giving him something that he needs and that he would not get being on the outside. Maybe it's a synapses being made or the last enzymes to help his liver function correctly. I don't know, but I have to trust that my body is designed to bring my husband's sperm and my egg togetehr and grow a tiny bundle of cells into a fully grown (10 lb) baby. When baby finally does produces the hormones that tells my body "I'm done," then my body will do what it was designed to do. P~U~S~H. I need not worry or rush or become impatient. I need to trust and be glad that all is working the way it is suppose to.
In the evenings. Layla and I take a bath together and talk to baby. We tell him we want to meet him and about his brothers he will meet. I tell him I can't wait to nurse him and hold him. Layla loves to soap up my belly and rinse it off. She says, "I'm washing baby Lincoln." He moves and squirms as she's doing this repetitive motion. I know he feels loved.
A few days ago, we were bathing and I had a pretty strong contraction. I sorta moaned and Layla said as she looked down, "You pushing the baby out?" It was so cute. I love that she's looking forward to this birth and that she isn't scared. She knows how it all happens and pushing a baby out is just normal to her. Billy and I don't plan to wake any of the kids up when I go into labor, but if they wake up and choose to be there they will be welcomed. Part of me hopes that Layla will wake up and not miss it.
I found an article the other day about how the baby's brain function's in the role to decide when labor should begin. Be back topost that article soon.