I'm 32.5 weeks today. I've wanted to post for a while, but life has been busy. This post will be a lot of miscellaneous things that I've been feeling, thinking about lately as far as this baby and birth goes.
Baby feels so low. I know that he is head down. I can feel his little, hard, round bottom and long hard back lying along my right side. He loves to push his head down into my cervix and ohhh the little aches and pains that come with that...but I love it. I love feeling him growing stronger inside of me, every ache, pinch, and pain. Sometimes, I feel him pushing so hard on my cervix I feel as though he is gonna pop right out.
While I was unpacking boxes I came across our x-mas lights. So I got this idea..I've decided to hang our twinkling white lights up around our master bedroom and bath, which is where I'm planning to birth. I think the lighting will be really calming and soothing and give us enough light for pictures. We've always had candles at our births before, but it is never enough lighting for pictures. I'm planning on having hubby hang them tonight (hopefully if he's not too tired.) I'll post pics when we get them hung.
I think about this birth every night before I drift off to sleep. I'm looking forward to his birth. I want to feel every bit of him pushing through each layer of me. I want to know birth. Yes, I've birthed naturally four times before this, but never like what we are planning: alone. No distraction, no preforming. Just me, my husband, and my Creator. God gave us this baby, made out of an act of love.... to be grown, part him and part me, into a little living person. We will travel this earth the rest of our days nurturing, caring, loving, guiding, teaching, and praying for him. We are simply inlove with these little humans of ours. I can't imagine Billy not being there, to welcome our baby into this world. I know he is full of concern, anxiety, and fears. We talk about them, but nothing will really ever calm them until the birth comes and he lives it. He says every birth has filled him with anxiety and he makes it through. I love that he trusts me and allows me to follow my instincts when it comes to birthing our baby.
A few weeks ago I bitten by a copperhead snake in our backyard (that's a whole other story that I'll post on our Unschooling Blog. lol). Anyhow, while at the ER they weighed me. Doing the math in my head, I realized I've only gained 23 lbs with this pregnancy, so far... With my previous four babies I've gained between 19-25 lbs. total during pregnancy. I don't really know how because I eat pretty much whatever I want. I guess my body just uses it up (plus some that I've already stored up.)
I chose early-on to stop weighing myself, as part of my prenatal care, during this pregnancy. All that brings about is worry and anxiety over getting fatter. I just chose to do my best with putting good things in my body, being active and that baby would get what he needs. I have to say though I was really surprised that I'd only gained 23 lbs when they weighed me. I could almost guarantee that if I had weighed myself every month, week...I'd have gained 50+ lbs by now. That's just how my brain works.
I've encouraged myself to take the kids, well Gideon and Layla because the boys ride there bikes, on a daily walk down to the park to get some much needed stretching and movement in my body. I've been reading a book that my friend lended me called, Immaculate Deception II. It talks about women birthing long ago. One of the things that I read that made such major since was how women today are so sedentary. At home or at work much of our day is done sitting. Being so sedentary isn't very helpful with bringing baby down into the perfect position for birth.
For my b-day this week, we went strawberry picking and as I was squatting, bending, walking...I realized what women today were missing. Movement. Our body wasn't built to be stationary, so it makes complete since that bending, squatting, walking (as in field work) really opened up women's pelvis' and prepared there bodies for a faster, easier, less problematic labor.
So, while picking 15 lbs of strawberries, I pretended to be back in time (well at least in my head) working a field, being connected to nature, and allowing my body to move, twist, bend, and turn and with every movement imagining baby moving deeper down into my pelvis. It was amazing.
This past week (32wks) my colostrum came in. I was so excited. Sounds silly, but I love how the body begins to make these little changes over time to prepare for baby's arrival and I welcome each one. Layla weaned at the very end of January/early February and my milk dried up almost immediately- due to my pregnancy hormones. So here it is Mid-May and my body is beginning to produce a perfect milk for baby. I was milkless for 2.5 months. lol. I am really looking forward to nursing a newborn again.
I'm planning on attending a new LLL here in GA, since we've moved. I love the support and camaraderie the nursing mamas give each other there.
I have tried to add some songs to my blog that I think I'll enjoy listening to while in labor. I have a huge list, but only a few were free to download to blogger from ilike.com.